- The Cautionary
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- Learning AI #24
Should AI write your Tinder profile?
A British man named Richard Wilson matched on Tinder with a woman who sent long, thoughtful messages, the kind that referenced his job and answered every question he asked. They had thousands of words of chemistry before they ever met.
When they did meet, the woman barely talked. She admitted she used ChatGPT "all the time," including on him.
Those witty comments in the texts were AI, not her.
We know that faking an identity online is called catfishing. Now, we have chat-fishing. Same idea as catfishing, except instead of stealing someone else's photos, you borrow someone else's personality, and the someone else is a chatbot that masquerades as you.
Chatfishing is when you use a false identity created by AI.
It's not rare. A 2025 survey found 26% of U.S. singles use AI to help with dating, up from almost 0% the year before. Among Gen Z it's 49%. Forty percent said they use AI to write the "perfect" profile and let it generate their opening lines.
The same survey found 75% of daters say authenticity is the first thing they notice in a profile. Unfortunately, most people chasing that once-in-a-lifetime match are reading lines a chatbot wrote.
The dating-app version of the college-essay problem is the same test. Is the AI helping you say what you mean, or saying something you don't mean at all?
Asking AI to fix a typo in your bio, suggest three openers, or point out that your profile reads as boring or aggressive: fine. You're still the person who owns your end of the conversation and the one that goes on the date.
Copying your job title and hobbies into ChatGPT and asking it to write 500 charming words about you, then copying that into your profile and opening messages: that's writing a character. Eventually you have to play him in person, with no script.
Think about it: after you get past the photo, people match based on the writing in the messages sent back and forth. Then the author shows up on a barstool and can't follow his own jokes because he didn’t write them!
There's a cost that is more than one bad date. Flirting, like writing, is a skill built by doing it badly first. (I am an expert on this.)
The clumsy opener, the joke that’s not funny, or the message you rewrite four times before sending: that's where you learn what you sound like to a stranger. Hand it to AI every time and you show up as great on paper and a loser in real life.
The fix isn't complicated. Write your own bio. Let AI tell you if it's flat. Write your own messages. Let AI catch the typos. If you're stuck on what to say to someone, that's indicative information about the match, not a problem to outsource.
The honest use of AI on a dating app looks like editing. The dishonest use makes you a liar. And who wants to match with that?
Things I think about
The blue-ringed octopus, small enough to fit in the palm of your hand, carries enough venom to kill 26 adult humans within minutes.
Check out the 10-minute interview I did on a podcast.
Free gift for my subscribers
Here is the link for a free audiobook chapter from my new book, No Adult Left Behind. AI is Learning. Are You?
There is no login or anything like that, just click and listen. The chapter is all about how to use prompts with AI. A good starting point for anyone who is serious about learning AI. (The audiobook is narrated by my AI-cloned voice.)
Response from Grok
Yes, but with heavy editing — don't let it fully autopilot.
AI is actually great at Tinder profiles for a few reasons:
It can make your bio funnier, more concise, and less cringey than the average guy's "love to laugh and travel" nonsense.
It knows what gets responses (specificity, playfulness, hooks, emotional triggers).
It can generate 5-10 variations quickly so you can pick the vibe you like.
The big risk
If you just copy-paste pure AI output, it often feels a bit generic or "try-hard." Women on dating apps have seen a lot of ChatGPT-speak by now and can sometimes sniff it out. The goal isn't perfection — it's authenticity with better presentation.
Best approach (recommended):
Feed the AI good material — Write 3-4 bullet points or a rough paragraph about yourself (hobbies, personality quirks, what you're looking for, funny stories, job, height if relevant, etc.).
Ask the AI to turn it into a few profile versions with different tones (cocky/playful, dry humor, wholesome, chaotic, etc.).
Rewrite at least 30-50% yourself — Swap lines, add personal details only you would say, change the order.
Keep it short. Best Tinder bios are usually 2-4 strong lines + good photos.
Quick example prompt you can steal:
"Write a Tinder bio for a [your age] year old [your job/hobby descriptor] guy. He's [key traits: sarcastic, loves hiking and spicy food, competitive at board games, hates small talk]. Make it funny, flirty, and specific. Give me 5 options in different styles."
Would you like me to write you a few versions right now? Just give me some raw info about yourself (the more honest and detailed, the better) and I'll cook up some strong ones you can steal and tweak.
Response from ChatGPT
Yes—this is one of the places where AI can be genuinely useful.
A Tinder profile isn't an authenticity test in the same way a college essay is. The goal is to communicate who you are and attract compatible people. Using AI to help you do that more clearly or more creatively is generally no different than asking a friend for help writing it.
The distinction is similar:
Great uses of AI
Turning your interests into engaging prompts
Making your profile more concise or humorous
Helping avoid clichés
Matching the tone you're aiming for (funny, adventurous, intellectual, etc.)
Improving grammar and readability
Less ideal uses
Inventing hobbies, accomplishments, or personality traits
Creating a persona you can't maintain in conversation
Making you sound like a completely different person
A good Tinder profile should feel like:
"This is me on one of my better, more articulate days."
not
"This is a fictional character generated for maximum swipe efficiency."
Interestingly, overly polished profiles often perform worse because they feel generic or inauthentic.
If you'd like, tell me:
Your age range
A few hobbies or interests
What you're looking for
Whether you want funny, confident, intellectual, adventurous, etc.
and I can help write a profile that sounds like you rather than sounding like AI wrote it.
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